la ballata de la freshman senza data

dear peanut guy,

HI! I HAVEN'T HAD A BOYFRIEND FOR ALMOST *8* MONTHS, freshman, AND I DON'T KNOW HOW TO MAKE GUYS LIKE ME. WHAT MAKES YOU LIKE A GIRL?

~DATELESS

dear DATELESS,

ask the peanut guy what makes him like a girl and you bring a soft, subtle tear to his salty, salty eye. let me count the ways...from the 10 commandments of peanut love! ready, set, feast!:

scrub not thy stalk, for thou art lovely

seek not the salt of the ancients, for its scent is un-savory

what lies beneath the rind?: the innards and thistle

salt thy rind daily

dare to flaunt thy silken stalk

the written word shall haunt thee speak in tongues in tune

applause from your hull rings out with dances in time

bring forth thy bountiful harvest and sing sans tune nor grace

burgle thy peanut kisses, as cookies from the starv-ed child

search beneath the seed coat and ye shall find the brawn of ages

live by these simple rules, DATELESS, and you shall turn *8* MONTHS of loneliness into *8* ETERNITIES of happiness.

feast,
the peanut guy!