subterranean plumes of widget-lust

Dear Peanut Guy,

I am obsessed with widgets, does my obsession have anything to do with midgets?

Yours,
~May and Marvellous

dear MAM,

your obsession with widgets has nothing to do with midgets. it has everything to do with digits, fidgeting, and gidget, "the little girl with big ideas."

far below the earth's crust lies a patch of steamy gold reachable only by the mighty rhizome tendrils of the peanut clan. there, miniature anthropomorphic peanuts with unthinkable quantities of digits on each laughably tiny fist slave away over heaping, stenchy cauldrons of malodorous mood-altering ooze, which is incrementally secreted by any number of viscous ooze-glands located between those very same innumerable digits. also, they love surfing and keep their cranial stalks tied back in adorable pigtails.

there in their subterranean keep, violent fidgeting the likes of which humankind has never seen takes place as they anxiously await the holy gestation of the ooze. then, the ooze spores are sent up to georgia, where they are distributed clandestinely in the domiciles of computer users and practitioners of elementary microeconomics. at length, the spores burst forth and a plume of virile gas is released, infecting the victim with an insatiable widget-lust.

but in the sense that they're small, and that gidget is a mere contraction of the words "girl" and "midget", yes.

aloofly,
the peanut guy!